Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
