Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
