Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
