I need help removing her.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
