All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
love makes seman taste better
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
