Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
