he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
