Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
