I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
