She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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