She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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