That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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