i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
