Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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