That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
