Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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