Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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