Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
