Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
