i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
