Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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