Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he fucked my hip out of place.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When are your genitals available?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
