I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
