just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
