So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your cock deserves a montage
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize