guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
