Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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