Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
