that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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