I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
