i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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