i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize