# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
