my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
