Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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