My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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