You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dicks are not precious.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
