do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
