entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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