I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
