it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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