just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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