Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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