On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
