i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
