i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
