I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
