they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
