sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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