Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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