did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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