STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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