I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
