Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
