loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
