Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
