I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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