the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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